Ballad of Eli and Clare: They are not as lame as you think

Hating on Eli and Clare, the overexposed Degrassi couple du jour, has become essentially a national pastime. And it’s pretty understandable – Eli is a spooky and pretentious emo kid who drives a hearse and Claire is a goody-goody teacher’s pet who belongs to the Math Club. Eli’s haircut alone is enough to raise your blood pressure.

It’s like Justin Bieber robbed a Hot Topic. In 1991.

But once again the blame lies with the creators and producers —  who are either a) trapped in a product placement contract with a mid-level department store or b) just totally clueless about how young people look and act. Check out what they think 15 year old Clare would wear to school:

Why, this outfit will be perfect… for the Junior Accountant Awards Luncheon!

Even despite Eli and Clare’s obvious faults, I maintain that Eli and Clare are the Degrassi couple you “LOVE to hate,” much more than they are the Degrassi couple you just plain “hate.”

When you really think about it, aren’t they MUCH more fun than watching Marco spend an entire season on the phone with his long-distance boyfriend?

Dylan, Marco’s boyfriend, circa season 7.

Actually, the actor playing Dylan left the show for a real acting career, but since this is a show for children it was ok to frame it as, “uh, yeah, Dylan’s just like…off screen. Yeah.”

Still not convinced?

How about Craig? The 38-year-old screenwriters for season 1-7 had such unwavering moistness for this BORING character that we had to endure a veritable sample space (look it up) of Craig couplings.

Craig and Manny, Craig and Ashley, Craig and Ellie…each one more boring than the last.So now you see why you should give Eli and Clare (or EClare, as the Internet calls them) a shot. In last week’s tension filled episode, Clare announced that she needs some space from Eli’s creepiness and would not accompany him to the Gothic Lit Convention.

It should be noted that, like pretty much everything in Degrassi, Gothic Lit Convention is code for “doin’ it because our parents are away.”

“Dammit, I was sure we were going to do it in my hearse.”

This week’s conclusion will reveal whether or not this turn of events pushes Eli over the edge. I’ll make the popcorn!

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