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Monthly Archives: April 2013

The Project Runway finale happened. It was a little boring. And I checked my e-mail a few times. But some interesting things did happen, like:

1) At the pre-final collection critique, the judges criticized Stanley for making old lady holiday party dresses. So he makes it young and sexy by…

putting the model’s hair down.

It’s like that scene in Not Another Teen Movie when they make over Janie by taking off her glasses and pulling out her ponytail.

I’m a miracle worker.

2) I liked Michelle’s collection, but I’m surprised they didn’t call her out about the costume elements. (Expected Michael Kors critique: “It looks a little like the 2013 Broadway production of The Hunger Games”). Patricia’s had, in my opinion, some truly standout artistic moments. But where were the designers with an edgy, street fashion perspective? That’s what made Jay Mccarroll’s collection so great — it was super creative and hip (like, actually hip. Not Nina’s idea of what hip is.)

The woman wore this.

3) The ending: After 3 seconds of Michelle looking happy and emotional – the natural, satisfying ending – we cut right to the PR Bitchfest Reunion Episode preview.

FAIL.

Lifetime seems to think that this kind of pathetic backbiting is why people want to watch this show. Not, you know, to see creative people making cool stuff and being challenged.

Other things that Lifetime thinks we enjoy include:

Challenges that are so whack in terms of time estimates that every contestant is flailing the entire time. What’s next: Survivor: Sisyphus?

Having the crew prod people into saying snippy things in the interviews so everyone comes off as mean and jerky. Protagonists are so passé, you know?

TEAM challenges?! Team challenges. Does anyone like these? At all?

In summary, my advice is:

More this:

 

Less this:

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Don’t let the absence of pizza box graphic design posts fool you; I’ve been eating/photographing just as much pizza as ever. Get ready for some rapid-fire box critique:

Neighborhood Pizza


I get these street scene boxes so often (here and here) that I might have to come up with a name for the subgenre. Quaint city boxes? Cobblestonia? I’ll have to think on it.

l dig that the cuteness of the setting is married with traditional pizza box elements (“Hot & Delicious”, “Pizza”, a script font, and “Made just for you…”). The one downside is the color scheme, which feels a little too “autumn vomit.” Overall, though, it’s a pretty posh box.


This example came from Pizza Star, a solidly traditional slice place right off the New York State Thruway. Thin and greasy — just the thing for the long haul back home.

The MAX Box


I don’t know where I got this one but it looks like it came off the set of Saved By The Bell. I love 1980s-era design (really, I kind of do) so this box gets a thumbs-up. (Additional points for the missing apostrophe on “Its.” Who doesn’t love a good typo?)

Old Times


Back in the day, Luna Pizza had a great little cafe in Northampton MA that served up the best thin-crust pies in the valley. Predictably, they didn’t last. Just recently, we happened upon Luna’s other restaurant during a drive through Connecticut. The slices didn’t disappoint, and neither did this Dante-inspired box. Doesn’t it look like you’re peering into the mouth of hell? I guess it could just be a brick oven.

New Old Style

This is a new box design, but I love it anyway. The checkerboard print, the silhouette slices, the vintage styling…even the lowercase i in PiZZA is quirky and appealing.

I especially appreciate the extraneous wordiness of “Custom Made to Your Order.” Because Custom Made To Order would have been FAR TOO GENERAL.

And finally, Your Moment of Zen: A choice margherita pie from Hungry Ghost Bakery. Like a lot of nontraditional pizza places, they don’t do printed boxes. But when you’ve got this kind of crust bubble, you can get away with anything.

So my birthday is tomorrow and I’m turning 30.

I mostly don’t care, but every so often I feel an irrational flash of terror.

It’s hard to describe, but it’s sort of like this:

(I’m contemplating making this an e-card.)

To cope with this important turning point, I watched Ghost World, my favorite movie of all time.

It’s about two friends who have recently graduated from high school: Rebecca (Scarlett Johansson, who was about twelve years old when they filmed it) and Enid (Thora Birch). Enid, who isn’t sure what to do with her life, strikes up a friendship with Seymour (Steve Buscemi), a lonely record collector and general misanthrope.

If you’ve never seen it, it 1) is the best coming-of-age movie ever 2) is a movie about teenage girls that doesn’t insult you with how stupid it is 3) will give you an appreciation for ragtime music (really, it will).

If you have seen it and you don’t like it, you’re dead to me.

No offense.

Even though the main character is a teenager, this movie actually contains some optimistic messages regarding the aging process. Behold, my fellow 29.99-year-olds:

Three Reassuring Truths About Getting Older From Ghost World

#1: Outsiders Are Ageless

Enid’s a punky teenage girl. Seymour’s a middle-aged assistant manager at a fried chicken restaurant. But, as Enid gushes, “”He’s the exact opposite of everything I hate!”

In actuality, Seymour and Enid have a lot in common — they’re both outsiders. Artsy Enid doesn’t fit in with her peers or the creative phonies in her summer art class. Seymour fills his free time collecting blues and ragtime ‘78s and admits that he “can’t relate to 99% of humanity.” Even though they’re about a generation apart, they relate to each other.

I think aging is probably harder to stomach if you had the whole traditional young person experience – dating, bars, being part of a big “normal” social clique. But us weirdos, we’re basically old people when we’re young. So we don’t really age. Boom.

I knew there would be a benefit eventually.

#2: Being Young Doesn’t Make You Cool

There’s a reason Enid isn’t hanging around people her own age. They’re mostly, in her words, “extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.” Yup.

#3: The Whole Boundless Potential of Youth Thing is a Myth

It’s tempting to look back on your teens and twenties as a time of boundless freedom and opportunity and get depressed that it’s over. But you’re probably forgetting that high school was less like this:

and more like this:

I’m pretty sure the idea that youth = ultimate freedom is the biggest line of b.s. ever.

My own memories of high school (and many others, I suspect) exist against the backdrop of the following “uplifting” messages:  “If you don’t take AP History, your life is OVER,” “If you go to the wrong college, your life is OVER,” “You didn’t belong to any clubs? Your life is OVER.” Watching Enid and Rebecca struggle to find their way, I realize how much freer I feel now than I did then.

And hey, at least I’m not turning 40. That would suck.