The Project Runway finale happened. It was a little boring. And I checked my e-mail a few times. But some interesting things did happen, like:

1) At the pre-final collection critique, the judges criticized Stanley for making old lady holiday party dresses. So he makes it young and sexy by…

putting the model’s hair down.

It’s like that scene in Not Another Teen Movie when they make over Janie by taking off her glasses and pulling out her ponytail.

I’m a miracle worker.

2) I liked Michelle’s collection, but I’m surprised they didn’t call her out about the costume elements. (Expected Michael Kors critique: “It looks a little like the 2013 Broadway production of The Hunger Games”). Patricia’s had, in my opinion, some truly standout artistic moments. But where were the designers with an edgy, street fashion perspective? That’s what made Jay Mccarroll’s collection so great — it was super creative and hip (like, actually hip. Not Nina’s idea of what hip is.)

The woman wore this.

3) The ending: After 3 seconds of Michelle looking happy and emotional – the natural, satisfying ending – we cut right to the PR Bitchfest Reunion Episode preview.

FAIL.

Lifetime seems to think that this kind of pathetic backbiting is why people want to watch this show. Not, you know, to see creative people making cool stuff and being challenged.

Other things that Lifetime thinks we enjoy include:

Challenges that are so whack in terms of time estimates that every contestant is flailing the entire time. What’s next: Survivor: Sisyphus?

Having the crew prod people into saying snippy things in the interviews so everyone comes off as mean and jerky. Protagonists are so passé, you know?

TEAM challenges?! Team challenges. Does anyone like these? At all?

In summary, my advice is:

More this:

 

Less this: